Walking: The Voices in My Head

So there was a voice in my head today that was fighting me and trying to get in the way of my progress.

I came home and the minute I walked in the door Voice A (the bad voice- the one who wants to create doubt, distraction, devastation) said to me, "You don't need to workout today.  You have worked hard the past two days and you need rest."  However, Voice B (the loving, caring, drill Sargent) says to me, "But you love working out.  It makes you feel good and you can see the results are starting to show."
Then, Voice A being the instigator it is, says to me, "But you are hungry.  How about sitting down and enjoying some of those yummy groceries you just bought..."

This is the point where I almost caved in.  Voice A in my head was right.  I was hungry.  However, the other voice- the more dedicated, committed, and devoted voice- was reminding me that if I gave in at this very moment it would mean that I would speak the rest of the night snacking.  I knew good and well that these last few days were amazing.  The long walks I had been going on actually helped to curb my appetite.  I would eat my dinner and be satisfied.  I would not have the raids every 5 minutes to the kitchen to see what else I could shove in my mouth.

So it was then that I realized Voice B would win this debate.  I put on my sketchers, changed into my "comfy" clothes and out the door I went.

Voice A kept reminding me that we only committed to a 30 minute walk.  I am blessed to have a public walking trail in my back yard and had originally set out to walk to where it ended and back.  That would be roughly 30 minutes.

Once I got to the end Voice B started in again.  You can go farther.. take the longer/tougher route back...  So I listened and proceeded with great hesitation.  I knew the "other route" home was a little longer and I would have a large hike up a hill (about 1/4 to 1/2 mile).  I knew my calves would be screaming.  However, I had made it this far and was up for the challenge.

Me..wore out..at the top of the hill!

The "long" way home. Reached top of hill.

I began to push myself.  I pictured an invisible rope and that I was pulling myself up this hill.  My calves were hurting, the sweat was pouring down my face, and my breath was short.  Every time Voice A began to say "take a break...cool down...rest" I began to push harder.  I actually started counting to 100 over and over again (about 5x's total) just to drown out that nagging voice.  I was going to conquer this hill WITHOUT stopping....and I made it.

The rest of the walk was down hill for the most part.  In total, I walked for 48 minutes.  While this may not seem like a lot to some, when you are just starting out and carrying a 200lb load this is a great accomplishment.  I am extremely proud of myself for not giving in.

I share this because we all have doubts that plague our minds.  A voice that tries to distract us and steer us off course.  I can't say that I will never give in to that voice.  However, today is proof that you can chose to ignore it.  I want to be skinny and healthy again.  To me, that is more important than sitting on my fat rump and stuffing my face full of junk.